My name is Hedgehog and I am a very cute one year old. I use this to my advantage all the time, like getting maximum cuddles out of mummy, daddy, or to be honest, anyone who is passing, as I like being carried around.
My day starts at 6am, when I get bored of being in my cot, so I like to stand up and look around the room rapidly, checking to see if anything has changed. Then I do a siren wail cry at the top of my lungs, which I find is very effective at making an adult come within two minutes. The key is to make it a really insistent cry, that says “I’m not going to stop crying until someone comes to get me”.
I come into bed with mummy and daddy, I make sure to point the way along the landing and towards the bed in case daddy gets lost. First I like to lay there sucking my thumb for five minutes, just to get settled. Then it’s time to get off the bed, which I do very skilfully, via daddy’s head. I make the maximum amount of disturbance with my legs in the bedclothes too, turning round and round, because though I may be little, I like to make an impact.
I cry until daddy gets up to make me breakfast, then I like to hold onto his PJ’s in the kitchen and wail at his feet until he picks me up. This means he has to make the porridge with one hand, which he is very good at now. I like to point into the porridge and make gurgling sounds, which is my way of telling him to hurry up.
After having my fill of porridge I stand up in my highchair and give mummy a heart attack. It’s great fun to watch how quickly they can dive to catch me before I fall. I always make sure to drop more porridge on the floor than what goes in my mouth, because it’s just so much fun to play with. Also, while mummy is sweeping up the mess under the table, I can pull out all the pots and pans from the cupboards when she’s not looking. This means she never runs out of things to do.
Later in the morning we go out to playgroup. I like to stall going out the front door for as long as possible, I’ve learned this from my big sister Mole, who is expert at disappearing into her room just when mummy is talking about putting coats and shoes on. I find the best way is doing a pooh right before we have to go, in fact, I time most of my poohs this way.
Once my shoes are on, however, I shoot out of the door like a bullet. Mummy always likes to race me into the road, and catches me just before I get clear of the garden gate. I think this is really funny, but I don’t think mummy does.
Once we’re in the car and going along, I drift right off to sleep. There is something about my car seat that just makes me sleepy. I like to sleep with my head flopped forward at a ridiculously uncomfortable angle, it is a lot more interesting that sleeping in my cot. I do spend some of my time in the car awake, it’s usually when Mole is entertaining me with her singing and we giggle together. I love Mole.
Mole is also the person in the house I most like to antagonise. I figured out that she likes to own all the toys, and doesn’t want to share any of them with me. So I follow her around and sneakily run off with then when she isn’t looking. A tug of war usually follows, this is great for building up my arm strength, which is pretty strong now. Inevitably we both start to cry, but because I’m the littlest one, when mummy and daddy come it’s “Mole, what have you done to Hedgehog?”, ha ha.
I am impressed with what Mole can do, especially at the swings and on the climbing frames. She can jump up and down on the wobbly bridge, and not fall over. I sit on the edge and watch her, in awe. I generally follow her where ever she goes, until she turns around and says “No Hedgehog that’s MY swing / dolly / balloon / bricks, trike, etc”. Then I usually sit down and cry until someone picks me up. I recover by sucking my thumb and cuddling into mummy. Sucking my thumb makes everything better. Mole once said of me “She stole my mum”. I know in some ways this is true. I know that I get in her way, I force her to share her toys, and her parents, with me. But really, I just want to be like her.
Later in the evening it’s bath time, which I HATE. My violent protesting has produced results, in that now mummy and daddy bring me into the shower with them instead of forcing me to take a bath with Mole. I don’t mind showers quite so much. Mole on the other hand LOVES baths, this is one point in which we differ.
I go to sleep straight away, so long as I get the ‘Lavenders blue, lavenders green’ lullaby, and my twinkle twinkle music box, I am happy. I assume the angelic thumb sucking position, which I know makes their hearts melt, so that if I need their urgent attention in the night, they are sure to come to me.
And so ends another day in the life of Hedgehog, and my tireless quest to be the cutest, most cuddly baby in the world. I think I’m winning.