Conversations with a 3 year old
Mole: “Muuuuuum, mum, mum, MUM, MUMMMM!”
Me: “What?”
Mole: “What’s that?”
Me: “What’s what?”
Mole: “That out the window”.
Me: “It’s the moon”.
Mole: “Ooooh. What’s it doing?”
Me: “It orbits the Earth every day”
Mole: “Where’s it’s mummy?”
Me: “The moon doesn’t have a mummy”.
Mole: “Is it all sad?”
Me: “No, because the moon is a big rock in the sky, it doesn’t have feelings”.
Mole: “But, where’s it’s mummy?”
Me: “The moon doesn’t have a mummy”.
Mole: “Is she on holiday?”
Me: “Yes, the moon’s mum is on holiday, and she’ll be coming home soon to make the moon some dinner”.
Mole: “And they can have cuddles and make the moon happy?”
Me: “Yes”.
Satisfied with this answer, she toddles off to check on her babies/dolls in her palace/bedroom.
Then you get the surprising conversations…
Me: “What are you drawing?”
Mole: “A sail sail sailing boat”
Me: “Wow. Where’s it sailing to?”
Mole: “To the forbidden city”.
Me: “Okay. Are you having an adventure on your sail boat?”
Mole: “Yes. Next it might go to the jungle”.
Where does she get this stuff from?. I don’t know, but I like it.
The classic bombshell…
Mole: “Mummy, you’ve got spots ALL OVER YOUR FACE”.
Me: “No I don’t”.
Mole: “Yes you do, spotty spots all over YOUR FACE”.
Me: “Great, thanks”.
The awkward moments…
Mole: “Daddy, is that your willy?”
Mr M&H: “Yes, that’s my willy”.
Mole: “Daddy, is that your wallet?”
Mr M&H: “Ummm, yes”.
We’ve only just got past the ‘girls have fannies and boys have willies’ conversation, and now she is equating willies with wallets?.
And finally, car journey conversations…
Mole: “Mummy, where we are going?”
Me: “To the beach”.
Mole: “Are we going on holiday”.
Me: “We ARE on holiday, all week”.
Mole: “Are we going on holiday AGAIN?”.
We went on holiday 4 times that week.
Meanwhile, Hedgehog makes herself understood very well with a series of grunts, wails and giggles, with the occasional “This this”, “More, more” and “DOGGY!”.
Me: “Do you need a pooh sweets?”
Hedgehog: (distant look) “Pooooooh”.
At least she keeps it simple.
