Conversations with a 3 year old

Mole: “Muuuuuum, mum, mum, MUM, MUMMMM!”

Me: “What?”

Mole: “What’s that?”

Me: “What’s what?”

Mole: “That out the window”.

Me: “It’s the moon”.

Mole: “Ooooh. What’s it doing?”

Me: “It orbits the Earth every day”

Mole: “Where’s it’s mummy?”

Me: “The moon doesn’t have a mummy”.

Mole: “Is it all sad?”

Me: “No, because the moon is a big rock in the sky, it doesn’t have feelings”.

Mole: “But, where’s it’s mummy?”

Me: “The moon doesn’t have a mummy”.

Mole: “Is she on holiday?”

Me: “Yes, the moon’s mum is on holiday, and she’ll be coming home soon to make the moon some dinner”.

Mole: “And they can have cuddles and make the moon happy?”

Me: “Yes”.

Satisfied with this answer, she toddles off to check on her babies/dolls in her palace/bedroom.

Then you get the surprising conversations…

Me: “What are you drawing?”

Mole: “A sail sail sailing boat”

Me: “Wow. Where’s it sailing to?”

Mole: “To the forbidden city”.

Me: “Okay. Are you having an adventure on your sail boat?”

Mole: “Yes. Next it might go to the jungle”.

Where does she get this stuff from?. I don’t know, but I like it.

The classic bombshell…

Mole: “Mummy, you’ve got spots ALL OVER YOUR FACE”.

Me: “No I don’t”.

Mole: “Yes you do, spotty spots all over YOUR FACE”.

Me: “Great, thanks”.

The awkward moments…

Mole: “Daddy, is that your willy?”

Mr M&H: “Yes, that’s my willy”.

Mole: “Daddy, is that your wallet?”

Mr M&H: “Ummm, yes”.

We’ve only just got past the ‘girls have fannies and boys have willies’ conversation, and now she is equating willies with wallets?.

And finally, car journey conversations…

Mole: “Mummy, where we are going?”

Me: “To the beach”.

Mole: “Are we going on holiday”.

Me: “We ARE on holiday, all week”.

Mole: “Are we going on holiday AGAIN?”.

We went on holiday 4 times that week.

Meanwhile, Hedgehog makes herself understood very well with a series of grunts, wails and giggles, with the occasional “This this”, “More, more” and “DOGGY!”.

Me: “Do you need a pooh sweets?”

Hedgehog: (distant look) “Pooooooh”.

At least she keeps it simple.