Things of late

Hedgehog: “Read it mummy. Read it mummy. Read it, read it, read it, READ IT!”.

Me: “Okay, I just need to put your sister’s jumper on first”.

Mole: “Mummy NO, I do it MYSELF”.

Me: “Fine. We have to leave the house in 2 minutes”.

Mole: “Mummy, get out of my room”.

Hedgehog: “BABY, BABY”

Mole: “Mummy, SHE WANTS HER BABY”.

Me: “Get her baby for her then”.

Mole: “Okay, I know where it is. Here it is, here it is”.

Me: “Come downstairs please, shoes and coats on”.

Hedgehog: “Shoes and coats on, shoes and coats on”.

Mole: “Mummy I want my rucsac, RUCSAC”.

Me: “It’s right here”.

Mole: “NO, mummy I want to WEAR it”.

Me: “Well, you’ve got to sit in the buggy, so why don’t you hold onto it?”

Mole: “Noooooooooo, I want to WALK and WEAR it”.

Me: “Okay fine, you’ll have to keep up with us because we’re late”.

Hedgehog: “Buggy buggy, baby, cat”.

Me: “Here is baby and cat. Do you want your coat on?”

Hedgehog: “NO”.

Me: “Okay off we go then”.

Mole: “Mummy I want to go in the buggy”.

Me: “Let’s take your rucsac off then”.

Mole: “Yes, I can hold it”.

Hedgehog: “DUCKS, DUCKS”.

Me: “We can stop for the ducks on the way back sweets”.


Me: “Did you have a good time at preschool?”

Mole: “Yep”.

Me: “What did you do?”

Mole: “Uummmmmm…. I played with my fanny”.

Me: “Really? Is that all?”

Mole: “Yes”.

Hedgehog: “Chocolate mummy. I want chocolate mummy”.

Me: “You’ve had enough chocolate, no more chocolate. What about raisins?”

Hedgehog: “Nooooo, chocolate”.

Me: “Shall we watch ‘Room on the broom’?

Mole and Hedgehog: “Room on the broom, room on the broom”.

Me: “Sit on the sofa while I put it on then”.


Tonight I made the mistake of running a bath (for myself) just as Mr M&H was putting M&H to bed.

Mole: “I want a bath with MUMMY, I WANT A BATH WITH MUMMY”.

Me: “You have to go to bed now”.

Mole: “Noooooooooo”.

Me: “Alright, you can sit with me for 5 minutes, then you have to go to bed with Hedgehog”.

Mole: “Okay”.

Me: “Is the water okay? It’s hotter than usual”.

Mole: “Yes, it’s not hot, its fine”.

Me: “It’s making you go beetroot and its making my feet tingle. Are you sure?”

Mole: “Yes, it’s not hot, its fine”.

Hedgehog: “Waaaaaaaaaa”.

Mole: “She wants to come in too”.

Me: “I know. You have to go back to bed now, and stay with Hedgehog, okay?”.

Mole: “Okay. You will sit here by yourself?”.

Me: “Yes, I will sit by myself and RELAX”.

She climbs out of the tub, happily wraps a towel around herself in the same way that I do, and carefully glides out of the bathroom like Cleopatra.

I am so tired, all the time.

Half the time when I’m storybook reading I have to pause to yawn.

I keep toying with the idea of getting a dog, (M&H would love it), but the thought of anything more on our plate is too much.

I need some super energy pills, a cash injection and the ability to clone myself.

One clone would be for earning money, one for childcare, one for housework and general decorating, and one for travelling the world while drinking unlimited supplies of wine.

Until then, I think I’ll just sleep.